Why fear the life of a Wanderer?

I hate this. Being driven to write a blog by seeing another blog post. A blog post in the lines of one which had always been in my mind since quite long flashes infront of me and urges me to write mine. That's a shame but yes can't really help this nature of mine which will unfold into blaming my schedule, my otherwise piled up tasks and pretentiously seeming list of priorities.

Well if it wasn't for a movie, a friend, a situation this impulse wouldn't have come. The impulse of yes, i can do it. I might be belittling myself by saying that it was just another bollywood drama which got this craving in me. But for a girl who hates travelling, the mere term named journey used to get her into her blankets and go into hibernation. But then the thought shouldn't just stop at the idea but should go forward. That requires planning and that's where I again want to go disjoint. Why plan?? Planing it out causes one to think within restrictions and makes one create apprehensions of the edges and boundaries being broken down by extrusions. As one good friend had someday said, my life is planned and that's what makes it boring."

Nothing said and done. Coing across a quote: "Drink every bit of the present and let it seep through you that even when your soul parts from your body it lingers in your bones", there is nothing less in me which doesn't urges me to move forward if not anything. When I see the graveyard by my window there is now an urge in me to go explore it experience the silence of the place, the serenity. The place Shillong never seemed so explorable until my friend who came down to this place all the way from an all india tour started carving out more beautiful pictures of this place than me who already spent her life growing up in and around this place.

Even when Andre Agassi loathed Tennis and still could arose as world no. 1, what's the harm in trying to break one simple conviction of travelling that one extra mile- unplanned and uncalled for. No awards, no laurels are there but the mere satisfaction of having taken that first step is worth enough to discover thyself underneath the baggage.

The only thing of lament persisting now is that it still requires that movie, that lady sitting beside a tomb to realize peace, a friend travelling unplanned, unscheduled - to inspire me. Nevertheless, hoping the inspiration takes shape to nurture further inspirations not for the world but for me alone to build that wall around me which I don't fear to leap over.

Life and its Unpredictability

Whilst all of the “Mahowl” of gearing up before the much-awaited internship phase of a lot of us, I just try to get myself all energized by conserving all of the energy by sleeping and relaxing and reminiscing all of the moments lived, experienced in the past one year. Just when you think of it you are struck by one massive force of life- its unpredictability.

Talking to a dear friend after ages; you are all set to listen to him bashing you up for being all busy all the time; but quite unexpectedly everything he says simply makes me feel all the more special and just makes me miss him, miss the good old days of chaddy buddying et al.

You wake up the other morning to the birth of two babies who have respectively brought immense joy to the lives of your cousin’s family as well as your friend’s family. That very moment you realize that its not always additions that life gives in form of its surprises. “Life Subtracts” too – well validated in the form of losing a friend in a massacre just before the term ends. Well that’s how life makes its calculations.

Life and its forces! You go meet up new faces- new born babies and as the day dries up you meet an old lady all fine physically but alas, she’s struck with Alzheimer- hardly can she recognize her own son, and to the dismay of many, nobody can say the reason behind her this state. A state totally attributed to life’s unpredictable forces.

An IIM Shillong phase un-awaited, uncalled for- and whoa! After one year I am sulking at the thought of not being able to live that life for two months. A lot of speculations over the one year; being a part of a committee learning to live with people’ expectations; trying to fulfill not only one’s own dreams but also others’, your learning curve definitely takes a high. Never indeed had I thought that after leaving a professional experience of 11 months one would get into a heavier dose of the professional experience and that too in the midst of academia. All through being part of one committee. Was that indeed possible in this year; I still am anticipating!!

Wanting to get internship in Bangalore and ending up in Delhi instead makes me complain; but here again I am sure that the void would be filled by life’s unpredictability. Bonding up with old friends after long, opening up to a whole new place and most importantly a 2-month period filled with experimentations is what I am looking forward to. After all life isn’t about bargaining alone. Sometimes without bargaining we get what we need and sometimes getting after bargaining also doesn’t pay off well. So, let unpredictability take its toll and thou shalt I myself roll!

To Randomness and Spacebound!!

Listening to the song "Spacebound" on replay, feeling all happy and trippy(not that i am drunk), but all in a different way; a way unexplained and uninterpreted just felt and felt by all your senses. Yes I am talking of the randomness which life gifts you, a bag full of randomness. Wish to have it or not, you'll still be blessed with it.

And why this craze, why to be so RANDOM, when life can seem perfect all organized to the minutest detail. BLAH! The simple answer is live the simple way- live it with randomness; no rules, no obligations, no boundaries - and am not talking of boundaries set by others, but by yourself. Its all about letting loose, letting it go, enjoying the small things of life. Like a friend said - "dinner parties...well ya they are good, but roadside junkies make life more spicy and F.U.N.!!"

If randomness had to write an autobiography on itself , it would say bunk - randomness doesn't exist in reading or writing, or in expressing - it simply can't be captured within the pages of a book; impossible to be bound within its covers. It is a one-way affair; totally. Just a doer and a roller coaster ride to make him take the trail, the unseen, the untaken and the uncertain.

Emotions, Expectations, Aspirations - well flashy right! All that matters is simply the urge to be happy and smile forever. Life without "Control", life full of "Freedom". Oops I forgot freedom doesn't even exist as its antonym is equally vanished from the book of life. Thats the transient mode one gets transferred to - that's what i call Spacebound.

And that's when you call yourself as the master of your fate, the captain of your soul!!